turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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