I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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