Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
