Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize