she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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