Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
