I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.