As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?