You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed