well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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