The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He has the fingertips of a God
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