But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
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We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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