i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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