Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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