Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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