Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
