So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
