nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Acid is not a monday night drug
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
