I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
