Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can vaginas get frostbite?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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