He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize