Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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