a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
