alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize