Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
