all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
