she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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