I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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