Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
