after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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