Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
