a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
