wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
