so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
