have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
