Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
