Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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