Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
