Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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