Having a random hookup so left but love u
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
