Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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