Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
