My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
