Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I need moral support for this bender
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So here I am, sexting at work.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
