no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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