the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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