I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
