Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
