Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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