And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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