My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
