are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
