rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
