puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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