Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We are all done wearing pants today
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
