When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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