Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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