I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
