Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
