PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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